Im convinced that Digital Devil Story: Megami Tensei for the Famicom is actually brainwashing software disguised as a video game.

I've been grinding here for like two days straight, okay? Just to get strong enough to fight the boss in this section. Now, the game's in a foreign language, alright? I'm tired, I feel like I've been drugged, ass-pounded, and left in a dirty bathroom in Shanghai.

This little puke-colored room is just gonna be burned into my mind forever. Here's the deal, there's a Rag shop here, right? Y'know? This little bastard, Rag, you know him? He takes your gems and you can get items.

Now, this is a little known Megami Tensei lore fact, but Rag is a lazy piece of shit. Because you can literally take TWO STEPS outside his shop, and there's this giant pile of gems, and this little nut just keeps taking them. This game might as well be like a medieval peasant mining simulator because sixty percent of the time, I'm just grabbing rocks and shoving them up Rag's ass for more health items.

This room is perfect for grinding. Like, you do some battles, you grab a crystal, you trade it to Rag for some health; rinse and repeat. Except I've been rinsing and repeating for like, eight hours and my hands are about to fall off.

I swear this game has permanently changed the chemicals in my brain. Like I've been mentally reprogrammed to think auto-battling the same demons for hours on end is fun. I've become like a Japanese sleeper agent. By the time I'm done, if I ever see gems again, like say I'm walking down the street in real life and I see a jewelry store, I'm just going to ape the fuck out and start climbing on the walls.

Fuck. You. Rags. -Cait Sith.